Just got home. Had a fairly decent night. Went and seen my therapist at 6pm. I did get a little bit of work in between the rain, snow and my appointment. It was enough to pay rent for two weeks, so it was a good day. I had a very good conversation with Maria (my therapist). We talked a lot about all the bitterness I feel toward ALL the woman in my past. I think we had a good session. I think I am resolving a lot of issues. I accept a lot of blame for things that have happened to me and the the choices I have made and that helps a lot I think. But, none of the woman in my life are blameless. I really don’t know if I will ever trust again, but I sure will try. I know I have hurt people, but I also know that they have hurt me. I would guess that it all evens out and I should not feel bad for my mistakes. I do anyway. I realize that I can’t change the past and will push to make the future better.
I am looking forward to seeing the kids tomorrow after work. I am going to pick them up and take them to dinner, probably at Pizza Hut. I missed them on Easter. I am supposed to get them again on the weekend of the 5th of April. Depending on others plans here at the house, I may take them up to my uncles for the weekend.
I have a full day of work tomorrow and then probably the rest of the week off. I am planning on going to the rabbit show in Lapeer this weekend. Hopefully some of the judges will be there that were at the last one. Maybe I can practice “flirting” some more. It’s nice being out in the public knowing that I am really not that bad of a guy. I was really beginning to wonder the last few months. I am getting my confidence back and starting to enjoy life again. Maria agrees that I am headed in the right direction. Things that would have really bothered me in the past are really not that bad now. As always, I hope each and every one of you has a great day tomorrow.
Aww… We missed you too dad! I’ve noticed in the past month, that you have changed a lot. Keep trying to become a better person, and keep working on your confidence, because I know you can do it!
By: Kevin Giffel on March 26, 2008
at 2:59 pm
I will tell you my 2 favorite sayings when caught up in a time I can’t control and feel frustrated (for what they are worth!):
1. “I’m looking forward to looking back on this.”
2. “A year from now we’ll know how this all turned out, if we even remember to think about it.”
As dorky as those sayings are, they do remind me that I’ve lived through every thing I thought at the time I could never live through. I always survived even though I never believed I would.
You are doing SO GREAT. Don’t worry about assessing blame. Learn and let go. Figure out if there is a common thread to the folks who later let you down or don’t bring out the best in you (or maybe you in them), and then choose against type when you are ready to try again.
With all of the positiveness shining from you now, you will probably find that you are attracting more positive people into your life. Hope so!
Shu
By: shussmallworld on March 28, 2008
at 12:59 am